Book Review: November 9 by Colleen Hoover
Number of Pages: 320
Date Published: November 10, 2015
Publisher: Atria Books
Actual Rating: 1.5
This is a love story between a guy (me) and a girl (Fallon).
Can it even be considered a love story if it doesn’t end with love?
Mysteries end when the mystery is solved.
Biographies end when the life story has been told.
Love stories should end with love, right?
Maybe I’m wrong, then. Maybe this isn’t a love story. If you ask me…I’d say this might even be considered a tragedy.
Whatever it is—however it ends—I promised I would tell it. So without further ado.
Once upon a time…I met a girl.
I live! Hello, everyone! I’ve been so out of it for the past weeks. I arrived in PH two weeks ago, and my internet has been sucky every since, so I’m kind of surviving on mobile data right now. Anyway, I started reading this book during the flight back home. I finished after two weeks. <sigh> If you are a fan of this book, you might find this review a little too snarky (just a warning).
Truth is, this book tested my patience. I’m about to spew a streamline of curses (you have been warned), but I’ll try very hard to sputter an impossibly decent review. BUT first let me just let this out of my system: Ben and Fallon are annoying as fuck. I seriously cannot believe I endured a 300-paged novel about these two dramatic cheeseballs for more than a week (a week I tell you, because surprisingly November 9 got me into a reading slump). I could have finished a fantasy series where I sure as hell wouldn’t have had to deal with a waterfall of drama and a petty excuse for instalove.
Okay, now we’re good to go. I feel like I should say a couple of truths about myself as a reader. I don’t hate YA/NA at all. I like YA (as if it couldn’t be more obvious from my shelves), but as much as I want to continue loving the genre, I always find myself in the company of all-too-cliché plots and irksome characters. Rarely do I come across a YA/NA book that makes me squeal with joy, and I hate to tell you this but November 9 isn’t one of those books.
The story moves fast, but the pace isn’t so much troubling as the characters and their lack of development. Hoover’s writing is still as addictive as ever (the only thing that stopped me from putting this book down permanently!), but the characters are unbelievably intolerable.
Ben is an asshole, a pretentious asshole. I was so close to slamming my fist on my favorite bear (yeah, not about to injure myself so I don’t want to slam it anywhere else) because this dude throws around the creepiest “compliments”
“Fucking beautiful,” he says with a slow grin.
Then he helps her find something to wear.
“I don’t want to wear that, I want to wear this.”
“No,” he says. I’m paying for dinner, so I get to choose what to stare at while we eat.”
Then, he finds out she’s a virgin.
“Fallon,”he whispers, dragging his lips slowly across mine. “Thank you for this beautiful gift.”
Oh for fuck’s sake. The twist just made me hate him even more. He’s a mindless emotional wreck 70% OTT who charges and utters sugar-coated remarks before utilizing his brain.
Fallon isn’t any different. Her narrative is overflowing with drama (as if Ben’s drama wasn’t enough) and my goodness, does she ever transform into someone more likable? She most definitely does not.
Because who knows? Even though I’m moving to New York, I might still straddle him tonight and stick my tongue down his throat.
I can’t even. I shrug my shoulder in defeat. “Well, then. I guess if Glenn likes you, then that’s that. I have to go home with you.”
I do not sympathize with this consistent show of blah. Get a grip, woman.
The twist reminded me of Ten Tiny Breaths, for some reason. There weren’t any hints whatsoever about the twist, and I think that’s why I was more or less indifferent about it. The story also offers a ton of avoidable conflict and drama and like I said, excuses for instalove.
I still admire CoHo’s writing, but I am definitely not going to read another NA anytime soon. Except, maybe Leah Raeder’s Cam Girl or Black Iris. I need something more mind-blowing to get this book out of my system.
Quotes I liked from November 9
You’ll never be able to find yourself if you’re lost in someone else.
“Did you just say sigh? out loud? instead of actually sighing?
Goals are achieved through discomfort and hard work. They aren’t achieved when you hide out in a place where you’re nice and cozy.